Mumblings and other nonsense

So there’s this thing that happens in Halo multiplayer where at the beginning of a match, people scramble for vehicles. Sometimes you happen to grab a vehicle before your teammate, just a fraction of a second before them, and they get mad about it. Since they can’t really hurt you or exact their (totally needless) “revenge,” they throw sticky grenades on your vehicle, which damages the vehicle (but not your character). This almost always results in your vehicle (and you) being destroyed by the enemy team immediately after the interaction I just described. 

It reminds me of the New York City subway system. Sometimes you’re trying to get off the subway onto the platform and people are so interested in getting themselves onto the subway — IT COULD LEAVE WITHOUT THEM, AND THEN WHAT WOULD THEY DO — that they push in on people trying to get out (including people carrying babies, the elderly, disabled folks, and others you probably shouldn’t be physically pushing into for no reason). 

Or when you’re on the West Side Highway, and some dude passes your vehicle in his own that’s going approximately 400 MPH, and then you see him cut in and out of traffic for the next 20 minutes. And then he’s stuck at the same red light as everyone else, despite having dangerously swerved through traffic going much faster than most other cars. It’s almost like he doesn’t realize that he could kill himself and several others around him.

What I’m trying to say is I don’t like it when people are inconsiderate. Obviously that’s what I’m trying to say. Or that people are the worst. I’m not sure. I think I’m gonna eat a banana.

Which isn’t really what I’m gonna talk about here. But it’s the same sense of “one thread which ties us all together” for pooping that it is for lots of things that we functionally do as humans: eating, sleeping, defecating, and dying. Those are at least the four biggies off the top of my head (yeah yeah, breathing, whatever). It’s this concept — these unifying threads between all human beings, whether they be rich latino bankers or poor white farmers — that I’ve been focused on near-constantly as of late.

(I just finished two Jon Krakauer books back to back, so forgive my intensity here)

I’ve been trying to transcend my own personal bullshit as much as possible this year. Attempting to get past the day to day psychological minutia that often plagues my thoughts is incredibly difficult, but a worthwhile task (I think, at least). But I’ve been struggling to find a cipher — something that’ll help me focus on what’s actually important and not waste energy on meaningless things. In reading Krakauer’s Into Thin Air, his passion and devotion to climbing shines through, and clearly provides (for him) the focus and calmness that his mind needs.

(Aside: I cannot suggest enough that you read both Into Thin Air and Into the Wild, the two Krakauer books I read recently. Both are incredibly well-written pieces of very longform journalism, and very easy to read. I’d also suggest another book of his, Under the Banner of Heaven, but it doesn’t have any relevance on this piece I’ve written. It’s just a goddamn great book.)

It reminded me of how much I loved crew for the brief period that I rowed, and how much I want to get back to it. How important each movement felt, how I could only focus on my form and balance and not on the asshat who cut me off on the way to the marina (or how tired I was from waking up at 4AM). How the silence on the water and the sound of my synchronized oars fell into a familiar rhythm that allowed me to turn off my brain from all the nonsense and just focus on the moment. It’s the only healthy avenue I’ve found for turning off the brain noise that pollutes my daily life, and I’m only just now coming to realize how important it was to me. 

I say all this not because I want you to row, or that I want to start mountain climbing (I kinda do, though, right? Doesn’t everyone?), but because I think the need for *something* of focus in everyone’s life is yet another one of those threads that ties us all together. Some folks find Jesus, or take an oath of silence, or practice karate. Maybe it’s rowing for me. But I sure do need something.